i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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