Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
