I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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