i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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