Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
