Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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