It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
