we're blogging at a bar
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
