ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
