How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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