Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
