we have pet lesbian snakes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk is not a location!
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