I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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