if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
