I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
