I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
