I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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