Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
