Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
