hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize