What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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