Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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