I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
