Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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