Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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