So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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