i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
