Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
