just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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