so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
