Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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