I'm so fucking centered right now
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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