so explain again why im purple
no
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
