omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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