I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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