You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
