he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
