Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't turn off my feet"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
