? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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