Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
