You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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