hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize