Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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