if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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