A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize