ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
