you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
