that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
