I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
