Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
