I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
