The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she told me i tasted like america
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
