i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
