Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
