Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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