I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
