I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
