I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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