i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
