I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
