That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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