Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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