I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
