That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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