if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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