There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I touched a dick in church today
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
