She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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