I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
